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Advice columns are a little like cats: they may not actually do much, but they're fun to look at.

) Words of wisdom: On masturbation — "Get a grip and give it a rest. ), you'll find you aren't so obsessed with your urges.

Maybe if you make the decision to do something else with your hands (whittling? Then masturbation will become a pleasurable thing you do sometimes instead of a twice-daily necessity." Grade: B- Friend or Foe, by Lucinda Rosenfeld Friend or Foe focuses on friend drama, mostly of the female persuasion.

Since Rosenfeld has only written three columns, it's hard to tell how she'll turn out, but as we've mentioned before, her column is predicated on a pretty competitive view of female closeness.

Then again, her advice-seekers aren't doing anything to dispel this view.

One writes that her so-called friend "swiped a significant amount of my Crème de la Mer" even though said friend "is beautiful, wrinkle-free, and rich-and I'm so not any of the above." Favorite topics: back-stabbing, moisturizer thievery, and the baby as status symbol Words of wisdom: "Clearly, your friend Haley was jealous and didn't know how to deal with your expanding belly.

Similarly, the appearance of her own potential sperm donor has made her less threatened by the sight of all those Build-A-Bears strewn across your living room floor." Grade: C Savage Love, by Dan Savage Dan Savage has been hugely influential, and we bet lots of college kids have traveled the trajectory from reading his columns aloud and laughing at the "freaks" to realizing that kinks don't make you bad or crazy, and accepting said kinks in themselves and others.Savage has added several important terms to the American sexicon — concerned yet time-strapped friends can now tell their deluded buddies to DTMFA.Nonsense includes: masturbating too much, "using up [a woman's] most fertile years," and having doubts about a generally decent boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse.Though she sometimes provides a refreshing kick in the pants, or gets mad on behalf of people who aren't mad enough ("You're a generous and forgiving person.I'm less generous and forgiving"), but she also name-checks Emily Post a lot and seems creepily in favor of settling. Laura, but she might be a little bit Lori Gottlieb.Favorite topics: bad manners, terrible family secrets, silly relationship problems (his toupee!