He’s slumped on the couch, head back, feet up, eyes closed. We may hesitate to make a move (or accept one) when the next opportunity rolls around. My prescription: a little brooding, talking it out, laughter if possible, and knowing haven’t done anything wrong; the other person has exhibited callousness and bad form.
Will they grow out of this dismissive habit, or continue it into their adult lives as long as they can get away with it? But most of the time when someone flakes, it’s due to selfishness, narcissism, thoughtlessness.
It may also result from the simple absence of being taught respectful behavior.
Couldn’t we model more civil (and honest) interactions? Couldn’t we teach our kids not to take others lightly – not their time, and certainly not their feelings?
Considering she had rescheduled And I will add – whoever she is, I’m not impressed. But as I see my son’s bewilderment and disappointment, I ask myself why teenagers flake on dates. And as I’m the family bank and every dollar hard won, I resent seeing my sons spend money on dates who don’t seem to appreciate it, or more importantly, I recall the Sex and the City episode in which Carrie is stood up, and it’s a blind date at that. Speaking of Sex and the City, there was another episode in which Miranda was stood up, though it turned out her date had died that afternoon working out in the gym. You may be an online encounter finally ready to meet in the flesh. After all, it’s not like it’s someone you really know, right? But what about the planning, the preparation, the arrangements, the expense, the anticipation – of the other person?
Long ago we discussed the emotional aspects of dating, the importance of protecting and respecting feelings as well as one’s health, teenage sex at home, and their right to privacy. Are they impulsively swept off into another activity, and dismiss the impact of pulling a No Show on the guy or girl who’s left waiting?
They volunteer what they wish, and at this stage there isn’t much I can add to the conversation unless explicitly asked.Our kids are smarter and more sophisticated than we were 30 years ago, but they’re no less susceptible to bruised feelings. Are they learning it from their parents, or is that too simple an assumption? Then again, I could never fathom why someone might like me or not. It’s a sign of disrespect to the other person – their time and their feelings. I never understood “what I did wrong” and of course I assumed (at first) that it had to be my fault in some way. They’re dying on us.” So just how many legitimate reasons are there for pulling a No Show, or a No Show with a call 10 minutes before a date? How many times after a fantastic first date with the promise of a second or even a third are we left wondering why he didn’t call or worse why he never shows his face? It hurt, leaving her feeling raw and wanting to withdraw from socializing altogether. They played it for comedy as she says: “No wonder there are no men in New York. You – or your date – may show briefly and exit quickly. In the case of the single mom, the expense of a babysitter? For adults, I like to think pulling a No Show doesn’t occur as routinely as it does with teenagers and those in their early twenties, though my own post-divorce dating dramas indicate that plenty of men using online dating will flake without a second thought. I don’t remember being stood up as a teenage girl, but I remember it at 21 or 22 – and I remember it again when I was dating after divorce in my forties.